3 months ago
15
Q: I usually give adult family members money for Christmas. Sometimes, I’d even curl the notes into a little bouquet to make it really special. But nobody likes notes any more! Is there a more imaginative way to give money?
P.B., Waverley, NSW
Credit: Illustration by Simon Letch
A: I think money is the perfect Christmas present to give someone. You don’t have to shop around for it, everyone loves getting it, there’s never any complaints about colours or styles or brands. Occasionally, there might be a sizing issue when you give a Medium size amount of money and they were hoping for XXL, but there’s no receipt, sorry, you can’t take it back.
And yes, you’re right: nobody wants cash any more. Cash is annoying. You have to carry it around with you, shopkeepers don’t like it and, if you’re a man, the loose change jingles in your pocket and makes you sound like a human tambourine. Everyone prefers digital money, but there’s no sense of ceremony when you give digital money: it just appears in people’s bank accounts, ungiftwrapped, with the heartfelt message, “Fast Transfer XmasPrez (Uncategorised).”
That’s why I propose a new Christmas tradition where everyone gathers around the Christmas tree with their phones, then the giver faces the receiver and announces, “I now bestow on you your present!” Then the receiver must watch the giver fumble around with their banking app for five minutes so they can appreciate the stress and effort that go into giving this gift. Once sent, the receiver checks their phone and announces, “Present transferred! I love it!” – even if it’s the wrong size. Then they do a celebratory dance, no less than 30 seconds long, involving at least one high kick. And on it goes, around the tree: announcing, fumbling, dancing.
