England vowed they wouldn’t abandon Bazball. They did, and look what happened

3 months ago 18

Opinion

December 6, 2025 — 5.05am

Doctor, come quick, English cricket might have a pulse after all!

Good. As discussed last week, while it was a great and joyous thing to so smash the visitors in the first Test inside two days ... this one really does look like it will be a contest. Who knows? On current reckoning, this one might even get into a fourth day. And, why would that be?

Simply because, despite all of England’s huffing and puffing after their first Test loss about how they were going to play Bazball, come what may, and the likes of Geoffrey Boycott could go and get stuffed ... they didn’t do anything of the kind.

The risks they took were calculated, not catastrophic. The shots attempted, while not always orthodox, were at least mostly authentic.

That first Test effort by England was, to bastardise Sir Pelham “Plum” Warner, just not cricket.

This was, and it was great. A great summer might beckon after all.

Joe Root celebrates his first Test century in Australia on day one in Brisbane.

Rebels without applause

R360. Hopeless joke, I said. When the pin-stripe pack properly crunches their numbers, I said, they’ll run screaming from the room and burn the clothes they were standing up in at the time!

Other rebel comps, I said, have only worked because players had previously been grossly underpaid, meaning there really was an opportunity for breakaway leagues.

But the highly professionalised rugby world, where from one side of the globe to the other, players are taking more money out of the game than it is creating, and is only sustained, particularly in Europe, by sugar daddy devotees, does not, I said, fit that description.

Hopefully Zac Lomax (left) didn’t believe everything he was told about R360.

So the very idea that R360 could come in – destroying the tribalism that motivates the core support and those sugar daddies – and actually make money out of it, I said, was the most unheard of thing I’d ever heard of, and it will collapse.

And what did we see?

All of the above!

As you know, last week R360 suddenly announced they had “paused” their competition, so they can come back bigger and better. Ah, but seriously, folks.

Cue T.S. Eliot: This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.

We don’t know if the likes of Zac Lomax believed all their promises, or at least got a big whack of money up front before throwing in his NRL contract, but more fool him if the former. Should R360 try to start up some time down the road, as they promise, what credibility will they have in any promises made?

Net zero.

The winner is Victor

Danny Weidler had, as ever, a fascinating snippet in his column last Sunday about Victor Radley having his “sentence” reduced by the Roosters.

Oh, don’t say it has passed you by? Remember how, after Radley’s name showed up in text messages to and from Brandon Smith, who was allegedly ordering cocaine, the Roosters just allowed Radley to hold on to his contract by SMASHING him with a 10-match suspension and a $30,000 fine?

Victor Radley’s English heritage has paid off.

Well, as Danny reports, they’ve reconsidered: “The suspension has since been softened by the reduction of three Test matches for England that the Roosters assumed Radley would have played in against Australia, plus two pre-season trials.”

Strange days, indeed. Most peculiar, mama.

Apparently, when beating their chest about how hard they were coming down on Radley, wiping him out for the better part of half a season, they had no idea that three English Test matches were on the calendar. And those two pre-season trials? I mean, who knew?

Weak.

World Cup draw is not all bleak

As they conducted the draw for the 2027 Rugby World Cup in the Nine studios on Wednesday night, circumstances placed me in a room high above in the same building, with the chairman of Rugby World Cup 2027, Sir Rod Eddington, his chief executive Alan Gilpin and Rugby Australia chairman Daniel Herbert.

Wallabies skipper Harry Wilson is looking forward to taking on the All Blacks at the World Cup.

As the 24 balls representing the participating nations dropped into different slots, tension rose as to who the Wallabies would be playing in the first match, in early October, in Perth, 2027.

And the winner is ...?

The All Blacks!

What interested me was the positive reaction from everyone in the room. From the point of view of the organisers, what could be better than beginning with a local derby between heavyweights? It will bring in the mob and set all of Australasia alight!

Ditto, Daniel Herbert. Three years ago, there might have been a groan at the prospect of starting a World Cup campaign against a team like the All Blacks, as a likely loss loomed.

Not now. For all three around the table, this was the dream ticket.

Ditto, Wallabies captain Harry Wilson, when I shared a lift with him afterwards. There was not an ounce of hang-dog about him, just genuine excitement.

BRING IT ON!

What they said

Nathan Lyon on how he felt being left out of the Australian team to play the second Ashes Test at the Gabba: “Absolutely filthy, yeah.”

Wallaby Harry Wilson on drawing the All Blacks in their World Cup pool: “We’re obviously stoked to get the All Blacks, they’re a team we love versing, we verse quite a lot.” I know. But “versing” is dinkum the way the younger generation says it.

The fabulously named young Australian golfer Elvis Smylie on sharing top spot on the leaderboard after the first day of the Australian Open, seven shots ahead of the likes of Rory McIlroy: “I embrace days like today. I think I belong. I know that and I believe that, so I’m just happy that I’m able to showcase that on a day like this one.” Bravo.

The newly unveiled slogan for the Brisbane Olympics, that took a team of six marketing professionals and consultation with an estimated 1000 stakeholders. “Believe. Belong. Become.” I do hope they were not up all night on that one?

Brisbane Roar coach Michael Valkanis that his players should not worry about the pitch: “When Alexander the Great used to go out to battle with 3 million Persians, he didn’t look at the surface and say, ‘We can’t fight here today’. He’d say, ‘We’re going to fight, we’re going to win’.”

Eli Katoa is helped from the field after a head knock while playing for Tonga.

Eli Katoa, the Melbourne Storm player who will sit out all next season – at least – because he was so badly concussed while playing for Tonga: “I’m back at home at the moment and I’m in a good place now. My recovery is going well, and hopefully, I can keep ticking all of the boxes that I need! And to the Storm fans, in God’s timing ‘I’ll be back soon’.”

ARL Commission chairman Peter V’landys, after R360 caved in: “There has been a run on cornflakes boxes – Coles and Woolies have run out. Zac [Lomax] and Ryan Papenhuyzen have signed no deals with R360, so of course they are welcome back to our game, absolutely they are. It’s sad they were hoodwinked by this mirage that was R360.”

Sign seen at the AFLW grand final as North Melbourne’s winning streak continued: “We may never lose again.”

Oscar Piastri looks dejected after finishing second in controversial circumstances in Qatar.

Oscar Piastri after he finished second at Qatar in a race he should have won: “Yep, I mean it is not all bad obviously. It has been a really good weekend, the pace has been very strong, but it is a little bit tough to swallow at the moment.”

New York Giants quarterback Jaxson Dart after taking more big hits against the New England Patriots: “We’re not playing soccer out here. You’re going to get hit. Things happen. It’s just part of the game.”

Tasmanian politician Cassy O’Connor on the proposed AFL stadium: “Overwhelmingly, the benefits will go to the AFL and gambling businesses, and the cost will be borne by the people we were elected to represent and their children and their grandchildren for generations. We all know this publicly funded monstrosity will have massive cost blowouts.”

Sam Kerr on getting back on the field with the Matildas: “At the end of the day, I wanted to stay on and play longer, but it was taken out of my hands, and that’s probably the best thing because I would have probably played, and who knows what would have happened.”

Team of the week

Joe Root. As witness his stunning century for England in the first innings of the second Test, he is not actually the “Dud Root” the tabloids had described him as after his ordinary performance in the first Test.

Mitchell Starc. Just three innings into this Ashes, and he has already taken 16 wickets.

North Melbourne. Won their second straight AFLW title and 27th consecutive match.

Oscar Piastri. Heading to the final race of the season this weekend in Abu Dhabi, he is a mathematical chance to win it all, but based on how things have gone the past few months he would require quite the wacky race for the cards to fall his way.

Sarwagya Singh Kushwaha. Became the youngest player in chess history to earn an official International Chess Federation rating at the age of three years, seven months and 20 days

Chile and Hong Kong China. Are in Australia’s group for rugby’s World Cup. The opening match of the whole thing will be in Perth in October 2027, and it will be our blokes against the All Blacks.

RIP, Fuzzy Zoeller. Golfer who defeated Greg Norman in a play-off at the 1984 US Open died age 74. Norman and Zoeller were tied after 72 holes and in the 18-hole play-off, Norman shot five over. (And yes, I agree.)