There’s one major flaw with new ‘business class’ day trip to a world wonder

Anyone who has ever flown business class knows the real luxury isn’t the wider seat or the gourmet meals (though they’re definitely perks). It’s the curtain, a visual barrier that separates you from the frantic, elbow-to-elbow situation of the main cabin.

RealNZ and Altitude Tours have essentially pulled that velvet curtain across the day trip from Queenstown to Milford Sound with their new premium tour, Milford Sound Business Class.

The upgrade starts at 7.30am. Instead of the typical 50-seat coach, I’m in a 14-seat Mercedes Sprinter. A lambswool blanket is left on my seat and a ginger tonic waits in the pocket, a preemptive strike against the notoriously winding roads ahead.

Our driver, Ash, handles the two-hour stretch to Te Anau with a running commentary of fast facts. My favourite is the Maori legend of Lake Wakatipu, New Zealand’s longest lake, said to have been formed by the burning body of a giant taniwha named Matau. “Some say you can still see his heart beating with the rise and fall of the lake level,” she says over the microphone. “It pulses around 12 centimetres every half hour.”

By our morning tea stop in Te Anau, I’m entirely sold on the road experience. But the weight of the $NZ699 ($575) a person ticket rests on the cruise and the five-course tasting menu. To deliver it, they’ve partnered with chef Tom Hishon from Auckland’s acclaimed seafood restaurant, kingi, to bring the sensibility of a high-end urban restaurant and set it afloat in the middle of Fiordland.

After a few scenic stops, we arrive at the Milford Sound Cruise Terminal. At the docks, a handful of boats loom, all much larger and more crowded than our vessel, MV Sinbad. Despite the vaguely villainous name, it’s a good-looking boat, white-hulled with a navy top.

As we step on board, a glass of Cloudy Bay bubbles is pressed into my hand, and I clock the first course already waiting, a seeded sourdough bun with whipped kelp butter and a rich bowl of wapiti (elk) bone broth. Inside, curved banquette seating runs along the windows, with carved Maori detailing and sculptural works along the walls.

The boat pulls away from the dock, and I see the problem straight away. On a plane, you sit still and accept what’s served. Here, the experience is constantly split between food and landscape.

I sit down for a course, spot a waterfall spilling down the cliffs, and run to the top deck. I come down for the next dish, paua served in-shell with black garlic, only for the captain to steer us beneath Stirling Falls moments later for what she calls a “glacial facial”. Another few bites arrive, Mount Cook Alpine caviar served on a potato rosti with sour cream and a Titi (muttonbird) croquette with a delightful citrus spin.

For the main, we scoop up Fiordland wapiti (elk) tartare with potato crisps, and swallow in one bite smoked eel under a slice of beetroot.

The windows at each table frame the landscape, but on this unusually bright day, they mostly reflect glare and streaks of salt. Besides, no one comes to Milford Sound to stare at it through a window.

Someone shouts “dolphins!” at the bow, and every passenger clears out. No one comes back in a hurry, prompting the staff to bring dessert up instead, a flat white-inspired dish served in a glass.

The food is well executed, exactly what you would expect from Hishon, but the portions are too light for a 12-hour day. That becomes most obvious during the optional wine pairing, where generous pours arrive, two at a time, alongside one-bite courses.

Drinking like that on an empty stomach before a three-hour drive back to Queenstown is a tough sell. For a faster return, you can skip the road and fly back by plane ($NZ500) or helicopter ($NZ1000), but that doesn’t fix the issue. There just isn’t quite enough food for the day. A more substantial main would have made a real difference here.

Those of us who skip the scenic flight back load onto the van and find a packet of chips and a chocolate bar waiting on our seats. The crinkle of packets being opened and finished fills the van before we’ve even passed the edge of the national park.

THE DETAILS

CRUISE
RealNZ Milford Sound Business Class starts from $NZ699 a person and includes return transfers from selected Queenstown accommodation, morning tea and coffee in Te Anau, a five-course tasting menu, and a two-hour Milford Sound cruise. Guests can upgrade to a scenic fixed-wing flight back from around $NZ500, or a helicopter flight with optional alpine landing from around $NZ1000, weather permitting. The optional wine pairing is $NZ65 a person, payable on the day. See realnz.com

STAY
QT Queenstown (qthotels.com) has rooms from around $NZ450 a night. In Te Anau, Tasman Holiday Parks (tasmanholidayparks.com) has self-contained cabins, apartments and powered sites; one-bedroom apartments from around $NZ275 a night. See tasmanholidayparks.com; qthotels.com/queenstown

FLY
Air New Zealand, Qantas and Virgin Australia operate direct flights from Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne to Queenstown.

HIRE CAR
Snap Rentals has a branch five minutes from Queenstown Airport with a free shuttle service. It’s also one of the few rental companies offering one-way hires, so you don’t need to return the car to Queenstown if you plan to drive elsewhere. See snaprentals.co.nz

The writer travelled as a guest of Luxury New Zealand Collection. See luxurynewzealandcollection.com