‘That’s not how AFL footy’s supposed to look’: Why Richmond versus Essendon didn’t deserve a winner

5 hours ago 4

For just over three minutes in the last quarter, scores were level. It would have been apt if it had remained that way. In many respects, this was a game that did not deserve a winner.

For all the criticism the AFL has copped for not having Saturday night football on free to air TV, it’s just as well Richmond and Essendon played behind a paywall. This was a match league chief Andrew Dillon would not have wanted to be exposed to the masses.

Tomorrow’s history buffs will look at the scoreline and wonder whether a game that produced a total of 10 goals, 23 behinds was played in teeming rain, only to be shocked it was played on close to a perfect winter’s night.

Where to now for Zach Merrett and the Bombers?

In between Jayden Short’s goal late in the first quarter and Tim Taranto’s early in the last, just one goal was scored in close to an hour of football. On the previous night across town, Ryan Reynolds’ Wrexham AFC put three goals past Melbourne Victory in 35 minutes.

Often, games dubbed “the worst of the season” come about because the coaches are locked in a tactical game of chess and a battle of defensive strategies. Think “the Shame Game” between Hawthorn and St Kilda in 2007, or last year’s equivalent between St Kilda and Gold Coast.

But this one couldn’t be blamed on Ross Lyon, or even the coaches involved.

Two injury-depleted and low-scoring sides who came into this game with five- and seven-game losing streaks played accordingly. They struggled to perform the basics of the game. Kicks went over teammates’ heads, ground balls were fumbled, and chest marks grassed.

Peter Wright consoles Jayden Laverde after the final siren.

Even Zach Merrett, one of the best ball-users in the competition, had trouble. Twelve of his 18 kicks were ineffective or clangers. Kamdyn McIntosh, a dual premiership winner who has played more than 200 games, managed to turn an attempted drop punt into a torpedo that landed in row K.

Dale Thomas, who played with style and grace in his 258 games for Collingwood and Carlton, was bewildered at what he was watching.

“The spectacle was horrible, the skill level was deplorable,” Thomas said on Triple M.

Bombers coach Brad Scott said: “That’s not how AFL footy’s supposed to look.”

Scott and Adem Yze both blamed the lack of “synergy” entering their forward 50s for the comedy of errors. That, combined with both sides fielding experienced defences and callow forward lines, went some way to explaining the goal drought.

From the couch, skill errors can seem inexplicable. How can professionals miss 30-metre kicks that even a park footballer can hit? If a teammate kicks expecting a forward to lead at them, and they run the other way, a turnover beckons.

“Some of them are skill errors, the majority are more synergy and connection errors,” Scott said. “I think the common misconception is that the skill errors are all on the player with the ball in hand.”

As Scott said, his players “only introduced themselves to Archer May five weeks ago”.

Players, coaches and commentators were paid to be at the MCG. The 52,125 fans in the stands paid to be there. Those not donning the yellow and black would have wished they spent their hard-earned on a night at the movies instead.

This would have been a particularly deflating night for Bombers fans, who kissed goodbye to this season long ago and will already have similarly pessimistic thoughts about next season.

Their star midfielder Nic Martin has “almost certainly” become the fourth Bomber to have ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament this year, which would rule him out for close to 12 months, wiping out much of his 2026 campaign. Important on-baller Will Setterfield was sporting a massive ice pack for what Scott said is a “pretty serious foot injury”, too.

Nick Vlastuin was playing his 250th game.

With 11 debutants and now almost half their best side in the casualty ward, the Bombers have been afforded a degree of leniency in assessing their performances, but this was a loss against another depleted side at a similar stage of development.

Scott does not want to use injuries as an excuse for a sixth loss in a row but said it is making his job challenging.

“The players who come in have never played together,” Scott said. “It ends up looking, not like a lack of effort … but a complete lack of synergy and connection.

“Rookie players making rookie errors, which is understandable.”

For Richmond, who have won six of their past 40 games, they will take any sort of win, no matter how ugly it is. A year that some forecast would not produce a single victory has now yielded four. They have beaten old rivals Carlton and Essendon, and some elements of the Richmond fan base will be happy enough just with that.

This win was extra special as it was favourite son Nick Vlastuin’s 250th game. He was chaired off by premiership teammate Nathan Broad and defender Ben Miller to a guard of honour formed by both teams. But surely not even he will want to watch a replay of his milestone match.

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