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In early January, before pre-season footy madness began to bubble, Port Adelaide AFLW coach Lauren Arnell picked up the phone and made nearly 40 calls.
News of her decision to step down after four years as senior coach was about to go public and Arnell wanted to speak with each of her players and other staff members individually to explain why.
“Players were very surprised, which in some ways I feel good about, because it had obviously been a really challenging period of time, and I hope that surprise means that they couldn’t see the volume of challenges that were in front of me and my family,” Arnell told this masthead.
“There was certainly surprise and also overwhelming understanding and support. All I had to do was mention my daughter and my partner and the players had full understanding of the position, even though they were obviously disappointed.”
After four years as Port Adelaide’s senior AFLW coach, Lauren Arnell decided to step down. Credit: Matt Turner
A former premiership player and captain, Arnell coached at the Brisbane Lions Academy and was appointed as Port inaugural AFLW coach in 2022.
She was pregnant throughout the 2023 season and gave birth to her daughter Marlie in 2024, returning to work five months later in time for Port’s pre-season training, and catapulting the team to their first preliminary final.
She has not spoken publicly since her decision to relinquish the job, and it’s clear from our interview that there is some apprehension.
For her entire playing and coaching career – Arnell has simultaneously carried the privilege and the pressure of being the first. The first captain of Carlton’s inaugural side, the first former AFLW player to hold a senior coaching position and then the first coach in the league to be pregnant.
Port Adelaide coach Lauren Arnell and her daughter Marlie.Credit: Matt Sampson
Her extraordinary career smashed stereotypes within the AFL’s male-dominated industry and inevitably championed a “women can have it all message”. They can hold one of the highest positions in an AFLW club, look after players, give birth and raise a child.
For Arnell - the decision to step away from coaching is the right choice and a positive one. Describing herself as a deeply reflective person, Arnell says she eventually realised she wanted to spend more time at home with her family.
But she has lingering worries her choice won’t be perceived as positive.
“I’ve carried a lot of responsibility being the first this and the first that… and a role model to say that you can do all the things,” she says.
“I guess there’s guilt there that perhaps the message of me stepping back is that you can’t do all the things. And I don’t really want that to be the message.
“I don’t want to squash that hope and the message that I’ve sort of had to carry, which is, ‘you can do this, and you can break through those glass ceilings’. I don’t want that to be diminished by my decision.”
Port Adelaide coach Lauren Arnell has juggled her wish for a family with her football career.Credit: AFL Photos
“I know there will be women who can do all of the things, and I hope that the industry keeps evolving so it can be for longer than the four years that I’ve done.”
Arnell says the decision to step down wasn’t made off one specific thing or one particularly bad sleep-deprived night, but rather an accumulation of lots of different moments.
It was the travelling every fortnight, working every weekend during home games, coding vision and constantly responding to coaches, players and staff in between. Overall, it snowballed into Arnell “not feeling as present as I want to be as a newish mum”.
“It’s a tough call, and I know one that a lot of people probably can’t quite understand, because the job opportunity like that is rare, but there’s nothing more important to me than parenting my daughter,” Arnell says.
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“In such an important stage of her life now she’s just turned two, I really want to make sure that I’m more present for her,” Arnell says.
For International Women’s Day, on Sunday, Arnell reflects on the significant women in her life, highlighting her mother and her godmother Marlene - who her daughter is named after.
“Marlene is one of the most resilient human beings I’ve ever encountered, if not the most resilient person and one of the kindest people who I’ve been able to share my life with,” she says.
My mum and her [Marlene] are two people who I just admire and respect so much.
During her tenure as Port Adelaide’s coach, making the prelim in 2024 stands out as one of Arnell’s proudest achievements.
The team came back from a 22-point deficit to clinch a thrilling one-point win over the stunned Hawks – one of the biggest comebacks in AFLW history.
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She also has enormous pride for her players and their milestones. Port’s first two All-Australian players and Gemma Houghton becoming the first AFLW player to reach 100 goals in 2025 is also one of her favourite memories.
Arnell won’t rule out a return to coaching, adding that she doesn’t close doors on anything. Her passion for footy is still there.
But her focus right now is her young family.
She wants to return to relief teaching and is open to media work during footy season.
Will she enjoy observing Port Adelaide’s 2026 season as an outsider? Or will she be glued to the couch shouting instructions at the television screen?
Similar to her experience watching her former teams Brisbane and Carlton play, Arnell says there will always be mixed feelings.
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“I have no doubt there’ll be some emotion there watching that crew, [Port Adelaide], she says.
“I really do hope that they can achieve the success I think they’re destined for, and hopefully a premiership in the next two to three years for that group.”
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