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April 16, 2026 — 5:00am
It’s hard to see my mates these days. They have kids who monopolise their time, jobs that require them to wear pants and partners who deserve every second of their affection in between. I’ll be lucky if I see them once a month, and that’s pushing it, which is why our boys’ trips have become so important.
When life continues to pass us by, it’s our chance to feel close again, and remind ourselves of the bonds we forged when we were young.
Yet, when I mention one of these trips, it’s met with a certain level of eye rolling. People naturally assume we spend the whole time getting drunk and searching for strip clubs, which is completely unfair. (We were only drunk about 90 per cent of the time, and good luck finding a strip club in Myanmar – believe me, we tried.)
Once you move past the clichés, though, it’s clear how good such trips are for supporting male mental health.
“The boys’ trip is actually such a powerful context where guys can connect,” says Dr Paul Sharp, a senior lecturer at UNSW, whose research focuses on men’s social connection and peer support in mental health.
“You might feel awkward just calling up a buddy and having a chat. But having this kind of shared context is a normative space where guys can connect with less social risk. They feel like they can open up a bit more, and be themselves.”
While this is music to my ears, Sharp continues to explain that the men in his research project exploring male social connections wanted deeper, more authentic ways to connect, and that the quarterly catch-up didn’t quite cut it.
How are the kids? Check. How’s the wife? Check. How’s the job? Thanks, I hate this conversation already, and echo his sentiment.
But due to work, family and the pressures of modern existence, this is the reality for many men. So many of our interactions are limited to a quick coffee, post-work dinner or trip to the pub. And even such catch-ups need to be carefully curated – the pub has to have play equipment, and they can only stay for as long as little Teddy keeps his shit together, which is an hour, tops.
Travel changes that.
You’re no longer ships in the night but passengers on the same and oftentimes leaky boat, navigating unfamiliar waters. You’ll pile into tuktuks as you dodge bouts of gastro, conquering small challenges and commiserating over low-stakes failures. You’re not checking your phone or watching the clock but being truly present – a gift that becomes more precious the older I get.
“There’s actually a psychological process behind these shared experiences,” Sharp says. “Not just in terms of memories, but also the physiological aspect, and that helps strengthen your connection with someone.”
It makes a lot of sense. My strongest bonds weren’t built on the couch playing Fifa with these dopes, though it was a fantastic foundation for our friendships. It was in the 13th hour of what was supposed to be a nine-hour bus ride to Bangkok that our bonds were forged in fire.
It’s no revelation that the strength of these bonds is essential to male mental health. Such bonds help us share challenges and feel understood, and given that men are less likely to seek professional help, they form a safety net to catch us before we fall too far through the cracks. But like all good things, maintaining these bonds takes time, effort and energy – commodities that men tend to lack as we age.
I like to think of these trips as a booster shot. They’re an injection against isolation, a pill to prevent loneliness, with side effects that may include a bad sunburn, the occasional hangover and an inexplicable addiction to something called larb.
They might not be a silver bullet that solves every mental health problem, but they’re a rung on a ladder, one that many men must climb.
I’m sure my mates’ wives are reading this and rolling their eyes. But much as every journey begins with a single step, every boys’ trip begins when their partners give them a nudge out the door. (And we will happily do the same when you want to plan a getaway with your friends – I promise.)
“The value here is not just for the guys,” Sharp says. “They’re going to come back a better person afterwards. In terms of their mental health, their physical health and their stress levels, it’s a great antidote to the current challenges of modern life.”
And when alternatives range from loneliness and chronic conditions to literally medicating ourselves, the boys’ trip is the kind of pill I can get behind.
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